Roasted Artichokes and “The Sauce”

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Now, I want to warn you, when you make the things in this blog post, especially “The Sauce” you are going to experience some confusing feelings. You will be overjoyed, you might shed a tear or two, and well, frankly, you are going to find yourself so madly and deeply in love with me, that you will either question your own sexuality, or you will do everything in your power to woo me. Don’t worry, these feelings are natural. Not only are they natural, they are to be expected. This sauce really is just that good. So here is the link to “The Sauce” http://lifehacker.com/5838665/chef-anthony-thomas-roasted-garlic-and-spaghetti-sauce I am not a huge fan of their writing, to be blunt, but I am willing to look past the insinuations that they are real chefs and I am not because this sauce really is just that good. This sauce takes some preparation. You can’t just make it an hour before you want to eat. She is an old fashioned gal that needs some courting, so prepare her the night before. Put on some sensual music, open a bottle of nice red wine, and share it with her. Stir her slowly and evenly. Make sure you have bought some type of delicious bread so that you can taste her in all of her different phases. Don’t worry, she likes it. Then when you are done cooking her, and following all the instructions, and have gotten her all hot and bothered, put her in the fridge overnight to cool off and let all of her flavors meld together. Trust me on this. She may not look like anything other than plain old spaghetti sauce, but she is exceptional and only grows more luscious and wonderful over time. Sigh, was that as good for you as it was for me? It was so good I ate three helpings, which required a late night gym session to punish myself.

Now on to my dish. I am a member of a local CSA and this last week I got some artichokes in my box. I love artichokes. One of my favorite ways that I used to prepare them, pre-vegan, was boiling, then grilling and dipping in a mustard/thyme butter that I made. Obviously I am not going to do that. Not only was it pouring rain today, I also didn’t want to use vegan butter on it. So I boiled, then roasted them with obscene amounts of garlic and olive oil, and they were delicious.

Roasted Artichokes with Garlic

2 artichokes
2-4 cloves of garlic, chopped (I used 4)
olive oil
salt
pepper

Prepare the artichokes by cutting off the stem and about 1 inch off the top, then you peel off the first row or two of petals until the petals are a nice green, and not dried out looking. Then trim all the pointy tips off of the petals with kitchen sheers.

Place into a big pot of boiling water, and cover with something heavy so they stay down like good artichokes are supposed to. Reduce temp to low, and allow to softly boil for 20-30 minutes. For me it’s always closer to 30. Drain artichokes and allow them to cool to the touch.

Take a knife and slice them down the middle, cutting them into halves. Now comes the tricky part. When you open your artichoke, you are going to see what looks like the Lorax’s mustache has grown in there, right in the middle. Scrape out all the hair, being careful not to remove the tender part right underneath it. That’s the heart, and it’s a keeper. It took me a knife, a spoon, and a fork to get out all the hair, and I still had a little left over.

Set your halves on a pan, cut side up. Sprinkle with garlic, drizzle with olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Then roast in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for around 10-15 minutes or until it starts to brown and garlic softens. The olive oil and garlic make a perfect sauce, so you don’t even have to dip them. Just eat the meaty parts off the petals, scraping them with your teeth and enjoy. And don’t forget to eat your heart out. It’s the best part.

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